Luigi and Pavi Go To the Zoo
by Magical Shovel
Summary: This is what happens when the Largo brothers go to the zoo. Rated 'T' for violence, language, and innuendoes.
1. An Idea

**Disclaimer;**Pavi, Luigi, and other characters from Repo! The Genetic Opera belong to Terrance Zdunich and Darren Smith.

_Note:_I was getting tired of writing emo/angsty/sad/it'stoughit'shumannature/OMGSOTRAGIC fanfics. I decided to go out on a rope and write a comedy one. Or dark comedy... with many implied innuendoes as well as slight Pavigi. xD Wow... This is probably going to be one of the longest fanfictions I've ever posted. One chapter of many. What sparked this insanity? A real live trip to the zoo with my friend, AF. Enjoy..or er...not?

For once, it was a nice spring day. The time was roughly eleven in the morning. The sun was a gleaming shade as its rays cast down upon the Largo Mansion. Landscaping held a particular shade of green for once. As said before, it was finally spring. The long, cold winter had finally ended it's brutality. Birds- mutated birds for that matter - chirped in their special little way. It was much too early for Repo Men and the junkies.. unless they needed their breakfast supplement.

Inside the large household were the Largo siblings. Rotti was busy within his office, attending to work. Luigi sat in his favorite recliner, with the Animal Channel on the television. An intense look was cast in his blue eyes, narrowing his brows together. On the t.v, there was a lioness stalking an antelope as prey. He personally loved anything that had violence.

Pavi was in a bright and strangely sunny mood. The weather held strange effects on people. He beamed his Cheshire grin that only he could pull off. Amazingly, he had sent the GenTerns off. For today, the youngest brother wanted to do something different. An idea was set in his brain that no one would persuade him out of it. The beautiful temperature boosted his idea all the more.

He strolled into the living room with mirror in hand. "Brother!" Pavi began. The effeminate male blocked the older one's line of vision. Pavi's attention span had now shrunken or diverted for the most part. He had temporarily forgotten of his plan, since he was distracted by his own reflection for the time being. A slim hand rose to slick back the raven colored hair.

"Goddamnit, Pavi. Get of the fucking way!" Luigi snarled, his beloved knife tightened within his grip.

Paviche snapped back into reality with a blink. He side stepped. "Oh! I'm-a sorry, Luigi."

Luigi rolled his eyes, but as he looked back at the television... it was far too late. The lioness had already made her kill. The carcass of the prey was lifeless, it's nearly indistinguishable ribs jutted out at a sick angle. The predator's muzzle was caked with drying blood. The fangs dripped with a mixture of saliva and the crimson liquid. The elder brother sent a fist down on the arm of the chair.

"I mised the badass lion kill the pansy deer thing!" The eldest whined like a small child. "Me being badass and you being the fucking pansy," he added for more insight and clarity.

"Oops-a!" Pavi exclaimed once more in a somewhat apologetic manner.

Luigi pointed the blade at his sibling."You'd better make it up-"

"Would you-a like to-a see real lions?"

"What?" He stared blankly at his brother.

"Let's-a go to the-a zoo! You-a can see **real**lions, fratello."

It was a subject, really. Neither of them had ever been to the zoo in their lifetime. It would be a whole new experience to them. Yet, neither of them would admit this since it would be a blow to their pride... or whatever would be left of it.

"Is Amber coming?" Luigi asked with an arch of the brow.

Now, that could have been taken as an Innuendo. Pavi took it as such.

"I-a don't know? Why-a don't you-a check?" The younger smugly suggested with a smirk.

Luigi widened his eyes, realizing what the suggestion was about. "I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!" He roared out, quickly rising.

The Italian playboy laughed nonchalantly, but he ran off for desire of keeping his body intact.

The brown haired man held his knife high above his head, stabbing the air. He took in pursuit after Pavi. He skid across the rug, nearly colliding into a hallway wall. His brows scrunched together, lips knit into a drastically curved frown as if he had bitten something sour. One thing was on his mind. Stabbity stab stab. Stab stab.

Amber had her morning fix and was in a nearly coma induced state. She relaxed in her bedroom with the door shut. This day was all so peaceful. Nothing could ruin it in her warped mind. Her head rolled to the side, looking out the window. A bird perched on a branch, blinking it's lone eye. "Hi, Mr. Birdy..." She drawled. "Haha... You look funny...Cyclops..Cybirdy..."

"Sister!" The black haired man cried out, swinging the door open. An expression of excitement and vague fear was cast in his eyes.

Miss. Sweet drowsily looked up at the chaotic scene in front of her.

Luigi wrapped an arm around Pavi's throat, performing something close to a headlock. The knife's tip pressed against the jawline. Pavi's hands flailed about as he gave a struggle.

"Got'cha, Faggy!" The eldest laughed and grinned in his triumph.

"I am-a not!"

"Are too!"

"..." Amber blinked.

"Am-a not!"

"Are fucking too!"

"You-a are the-a one who will-a find a hole-a and fuck it!"

"You get it up for anything, you fucking pervert!" Luigi countered.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP." Their sister rose to a sitting position. Her jaw locked in all frustration as she swayed lightly. Her eyes with cloudy. She felt no pain. The Z still floated though her system at a gentle pace. "You're both fags!"

"Awww...."

"Fuckity fuck fuck. Fucking damnit!" Luigi let go of Pavi, smacking him on the back of the head. Pavi rubbed that same location, murmuring an 'ow'.

"Why the fuck did you come to my room!?" She exclaimed. The surgery addicted sibling briefly glanced at the window. '' had flown away. "YOU SCARED MR. BIRDY!"

Pavi glanced at his brother, whispering. "Who is-a Mr. Birdy?"

"Like I fucking know."

The brothers exchanged glances once more with a shrug.

"Do you-a want to-a come with the zoo with us?"

"God no..." Amber muttered. Although she was out of it, she could only imagine what havoc would happen. "Now, get out of my room, fucktards."

"Awww...."

"Bitch." Luigi grumbled.

The two left their sister's room to leave her to her drug trip.

"Mr. Birdy, you're back!" They had heard her say. "Ow, Stop eating my hair! Stop! Stop pecking at me!" Amber whined in her room, flailing from the now imaginary bird. The real one eyed bird watched from outside.

"What the fuck is she on?" The eldest grunted, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Z."

"I know that." He spoke, matter-of-factly.

"Oh."

"Idiot."

"Luigi?"

"Yeah?"

"We-a need money."

"Yeah. Go ask Pop."

"But-"

"Was your idea. Go seduce him or something."

Seduce? That wouldn't be hard, considering the fact that _everyone_loved the Pavi.


	2. Persuasion

_Note: _Chapter Two is up! ;D I'll try to update this story daily. I'm so sorry... There's Rotti/Pavi implied.. Sort of. xD I really must be losing my sanity. All well. Disclaimers are on the first page. Steve Bob McSteve belongs to Aquaflame68. Enjoy!

It was mandatory. Work had to be tended to constantly. After all, Rottisimo Largo was the head of GeneCo, the world's most powerful company. A neutral expression was cast upon his face. Gray hair slicked back with a ribbon. He turned his attention to the flat monitor screen which was attached to the computer.

Rotti logged onto his e-mail. On this account, all could contact. Apparently, this new message was from a Repo Man by the name of Steve Bob McSteve.

"..." This e-mail was strangely bizzare, yet highly entertaining. The man demanded to be paid by chocolate and not money. Was this man insane?

"They should contact the Zydrate Support Network rather than GeneCo for that drug addiction.. Porn addiction, as well?" A surprised expression crossed his face. "Oh my.." He cleared his throat, preventing a harsh chuckle from escaping.

"Let me reply to this right away..." Sarcasm dripped from his voice. Rotti immediately clicked 'delete' for this pitiful message.

"I'm surrounded by idiots."

An abrupt knock came to the door.

"Papá?" A voice containing a thick Italian accent called out. "Can I-a come in-a?"

"Yes. son. Come in."

"In-a the door?"

''...What, Paviche?"

"Can I-a come on-a the door?"

"My God, no!" What on earth was he talking about? It was impossible to "flirt" with a door and it was just.. disgusting if Rotti thought of what Pavi actually meant. He curled his lip in great disdain.

Pavi opened the door, looking at his father. He gave a mild bow out of respect to the man.

"I-a meant; can I-a enter? Sorry, Papá."

Rotti let out a sigh of great relief. So that was what his youngest son meant. Sometimes his words were purely confusing mainly, because of the distasteful accent. It was over done.

The youthful man held down his mirror for once, blue eyes bright. He waltzed over to the desk, fingers skimming along the edge. He gently swayed his body back and forth, watching his father attempting to work.

The face that was not his own.. was atrocious. Surgery could have easily mended such a thing, but Pavi had defiantly refused. He lived with the fear that it could ruin him once more. Now, here he was, wearing a skinned woman's face... as well as acting like one in this coy manner.

Raising a brow, Rotti firmly spoke, "What is it you want, my son?"

Both Luigi and himself were in need of money to actually go to the zoo. In Pavi's dim-witted mind, this was the only way he could think of getting it. Instead of asking... well, normally. He timidly raised a leg, sitting on his father's desk. A grin spread across his painted lips.

"Well-a...." Pavi mindlessly swirled a finger in circles on the polished wood.

_How childish._Whatever he desired would most likely be large or costly in some way. "Son," Rotti began. "You're acting like a nine year old. Act your age. Now, please, tell _me_ what you want." _So I can get back to work. _He silently added.

"What-a if I-a say I-a want you?"

Now, this made Rotti a bit nervous. What was Paviche planning? His son wasn't that bright too come up with such things. Once more, he cleared his throat.

"For what?"

"..."

_Dear God._ "..."

"..."

"Well?"

"For-a money." The black haired male beamed proudly.

"Oh..." Another sigh of relief came from the head of GeneCo.

"Why-a? Did you-a want me-a to ask-a for something else, Papá? The Pavi would-a gladly give it-a to you." The Cheshire grin returned.

"No, no, no." Rotti shook his head. He was able to breath easier now. Incest was still a taboo to the publicity. The tabloids would be all over that subject in a heartbeat. Luckily, his thoughts were wrong.. or he hoped that much. _My mind has gone perverse._

"How much do you need?"

Pavi blinked, trying to calculate how much was needed.

"Uh... One-a grand?"

Rotti practically guffawed right there and then, his eyes widened. "What on earth do you need one thousand dollars for?"

If he told Rottisimo that both Luigi and himself were going to the zoo; he could only picture what his father would think and nonetheless, say.

"Surgery!"

"...What kind of surgery?" Rotti's suspicion rose once more. He was also very unamused by this point. If his son said penile enlargement, he wouldn't know how to respond. A firm ''No'' would immediately come out of his mouth, most likely. His children really were a disgrace. That would only add to the sad truth of it all.

"I-a need spleen removal! Oh~!" Pavi faked a gasp, which was all too girly. By doing so, he slid closer to his father. A hand went to clutch his abdomen in false pain. Of course, Luigi would most likely inflict some sort of pain later on.

Rotti, however, looked unimpressed once again. He shook his head, writing down a check for the given amount. His kids certainly had their ways when it came to manipulation. He was wrapped around their fingers, so to speak.

Once more, Pavi flashed an eerie smile. His lips curved up all the more. It sent an involuntary shudder down the older man's spine. In a flash, his son grabbed the check, planting a kiss on his father's head."

"Gratzi, Papá!"

GeneCo's king gave no verbal response, but a grave nod. His face was somewhat pale as his thoughts continued to meander.

After Pavi left, Rotti brought a handkerchief to his temple with yet another ragged sigh.

"Monsters..."

Meanwhile, the middle child cashed the check. He had done it! He was going to the zoo today! It brought him great joy. Both Luigi and Pavi were in the limo on the way there.

"Stop looking at me. It's fucking creepy." The eldest Largo grumbled, crossing his arms.

Pavi looked away to his reflection. He lovingly stoked the mask which was not his own. Beauty had the tendency to lure him in so easily. When he was sure Luigi was looking (glaring) out the window, he turned to face his brother. He gently poked his arm. Luigi turned. Pavi swiftly turned away. The action repeated for several minutes.

"I fucking saw that!"

"Saw-a what?"

"You keep fucking poking me, you little shit nosed fag."

"I-a did not." He spoke calmly.

"Did fucking too."

"Did-a not!"

"Did **FUCKING** too!"

When Pavi wasn't looking, Luigi pulled out his knife. He deliberately stabbed the "freak" in the arm.

"How do you fucking like that? Huh? Huh?"

"Brother! That-a hurts!" Pavi cried out, carefully cradling the wound.

The limousine driver could only imagine what the two were doing.

At last, they arrived at their destination.


	3. At The Zoo

_Note: _Spellcheck upsets me. It has reassured me that I can't spell 'millipede'. Mili-Mi-... No, I do not support animal abuse in any form. It is terrible and cruel. I support animal rights. This was written for pure comedic pleasure. Listening to "Critical Acclaim" By: Avenged Sevenfold really got me into writing this chapter (Stabstabstab) along with when I actually went to the zoo. Enjoy.

"We're-a here! We're-a here!" Pavi excitedly exclaimed.

"Yeah." Luigi put on his cap with the GeneCo logo proudly displayed on it. It was funny, the two Largo brothers looked like they didn't belong. Pavi wore designer clothing and Luigi bore formal attire with an ascot.

They went to the entrance. After an arguement with a staff member, the eldest became fed up. Apparently, the front desk wouldn't give change in exchange of a hundred dollar bill. With a flick of the wrist, he pulled out one of his several knives.

"Do you know who the fuck we are?!"

"Y-yeah..." The staff member stuttered in fear of her life. "But the policy-"

"Fuck the damned policy! C'mon, give us the change! My little brother wanted to go to the zoo and Goddammit we're going to go!"

After stabbing many other staff, they finally received the tickets and their long awaited change.

"They deserved it..." Luigi mumbled on, the rest of his words were incoherent. Yet, there was the mentioning of 'commoners' He snatched two maps, turning to give one to Pavi. The thirty year old was nowhere in sight.

"Pavi.. where the fuck did you go?" He turned for one second and he's gone- vanished into thin air. Disappeared out of sight. This was not dynamite.

There was a strange thumping sound. He turned to see a port-a-potty rocking wildly as if it were posessed.

"..."

Thump. Thud. Thunk.

"..."

Moan.

"..."

It was obvious that it was Pavi... with someone. Luigi could only imagine what was going on.

_Thrust. Thrust. Thrust. Moan. Thrust. Gasp._

He shook h is head in a desperate attempt to get the raw images out of his mind. The brown haired brother walked up to the plastic bathroom. He harshly knocked on it. "Hurry, the fuck up!"

Silence. Then, a damned girly giggle. A few more thrusts.

Luigi folded his arms, a frown tightly knit onto his lips. Out walked Pavi, brushing imaginary dirt off of his semi-wrinkled clothes. He slicked back his sex ruffled hair, letting another small giggle escape.

"Ahehe..."

"I turn away for one minute and you go fuck! God, Pavi. I was worried-" Luigi stopped, choosing a different choice of words. "I lied. I didn't fucking care, but still. Pop would be pissed if anything happened to you."

"I'm-a sorry, brother." He wasn't really. It was a good fuck.

Out walked a delirious looking man. He bore a Repo suit without a helmet. The GeneCo logos were neatly displayed on his shoulders. He _must_have been on Zydrate or God knows what. Everyone at least hoped that much. The weird man ran off. His run was something of a 'Ican'tseewhereI'mgoingmywordsareblurred' or a 'Runhopjumpskip'. Whatever it was... it was just... undeniably stupid.

"Who the hell was that!?"

"Steve Bob McSteve." Pavi replied in a casual manner.

"I'LL BE PAID IN CHOCOLATE, YOU'LL SEE!"

"..." Pavi adjusted his shirt collar.

"Fucking idiot."

The black haired male opened up the map, a finger tracing along the various routes. Where to go first? There was the exhibit entitled, "A Glimpse Into The Amazon." He tapped the title.

"Let's go-a there."

"Nobody tells me what to do... What's there?"

"I-a don't know. It-a says something-a about bugs-a and fish."

"Maybe we'll see a freak like you there."

"Haha." Pavi gave a light laugh. So, they took off to that location.

Outside of the indoor exhibit was a replica of a millipede blown out of proportion. It was at least seven or eight feet long and two feed wide. It's details were overall accurate except for size. It was just a statue on the cement.

"Look, Luigi!" Pavi cried out, straddling the statue. He placed his hands on the head of the giant insect, rocking back and forth. Luigi put a palm to his face. Random passerby gawked and snapped photos of the scene.

"I'm-a riding a millipede!"

"..."

"It feels-a nice, brother.."

Luigi's face reddened from either embarrassment or anger... or maybe something else. "Pavi, get off the damned thing!"

"But the Pavi's having fun!" The younger man held his mirror in the air, arm pulled back as if he was a cowboy with a hat.

"Pavi!" One last warning.

The other grinned, getting up. It wouldn't be good to cause _too_ much of a ruckus.

"I thought you drew the line at bestiality." Luigi grumbled.

"I-a do. It was-a just a statue, brother. I-a thought you-a crossed the line-a at necrophilia." Good points.

They walked inside to discover an odd type of fish. They swam around in the tank. Their size ranged from five to nine inches.

"Ew!" Pavi's hands scrabbled about. "They're-a thick and-a slimy.. and-a long."

"Like yours, fag."

"...Well-a. Yours-a is a millipede."

Luigi's face scrunched up in anger. Glass shattered as he stabbed the tank. A very dead millipede now rested upon his knife. The poor critter. "Now it's not."

They were quickly kicked out due to that little scenario. Thus, the brothers went to see the gorillas. A male Lowland sat near the window, holding a piece of grass. It quickly ate the plant, only to do what cows did. Upchuck, chew, eat, and repeat.

"That's fucking disgusting." Luigi wrinkled his nose in distaste. "Hey. Hey, Pavi. Look at this stupid little-" His brother was gone again. "-monkey..."

It was growing annoying by now. Pavi was like a little child, constantly in need of attention. Then again, that was what the little shit wanted. Luigi gave an eye roll, turning to watch the gorillas. In the exhibit, there was some black haired, pale man... _Pavi_. It couldn't be, but it was. It looked like the stupid ape thing was trying to rape him.

"Hey!" The eldest cried out, punching the glass. "Let go of my god damned brother!" He hollered out once more. That was the last fucking straw. He broke open the door that led to the inside, ripping open his shirt. He tripped to puff himself up, holding the knife tightly.

"Nobody gets to fuck with my brother except for me! Ya hear?"

Both the gorilla and Pavi blinked. Tourists murmured in low gasps, "It's true...'' The heavily haired creature groomed Pavi's head, while the younger man broadly grinned.

"He was-a just tickling and-a grooming me-a, brother. Were you-a jealous?" A smirk.

"...Shut up." Luigi re-buttoned his shirt. By now, they were both hungry. It was time for lunch.


	4. Lunch Ohm nom nom

_Note; _I burst out in laughter as I write for steamy hot innuendoes! It must be my room. It's hot. It's making my head more perverse. I want icecream now, too. But I had a cone. I did run and work out to- MORE ICECREAM. -Runs off.- Enjoy, my friends!

Meat. It was what every man needed... in Luigi's opinion. Pavi had pansy food, as always. The thirty five year old ate his hot dog while the other gingerly munched on a salad. Then, came the banana.

"Ohm nom nom."

"...What?"

"The Pavi has a banana." Way to state the obvious.

"..." Luigi shook his head while Pavi unpeeled it.

He opened his mouth, lips parted. He blinked one. The tip not too far away from his face.

"Stop staring, brother. I'm-a trying to-a eat!" Luigi reddened.

"You like-a that?" Pavi grinned wildly, one hand holding the banana. He clamped his mouth on the fruit, licking and sucking it repeatedly.

"I have to go to the bathroom!"

"Ohm nom nom,"Pavi responded, watching Luigi run off. He giggled in delight, finishing the pale fruit in a few chomps. He strode to a booth, tossing out his garbage. Blue eyes gazed up at the menu, finally ordering a vanilla ice cream. Frosty goodness..

The older brother came back with his sleeves rolled up. Before lunch, he had lost his blazer due to an incident with a giraffe.

"You're eating more? You're like a bottomless pit." _In more ways than one._

Pavi gave a pleasant smile as a response. Of course had had to eat the food that was the most sexually implied. This was Pavi we were speaking of, after all.

"Does-a brother want a taste-a?"

"No, I fucking don't."

The ice cream edged closer to Luigi's face.

"Sí...?"

"Get it out of my fucking face!"

The cone danced in front of him now. Pure mockery.

A sigh of defeat. "If I lick it will you stop?"

"Sí."

Luigi momentarily narrowed his own blue eyes in concentration. He stuck out his tongue.

"Now you're fucking staring."

Pavi looked away as Luigi took a lick. The playboy grinned at his brother, finishing the ice cream on his own. _Lick. Lick. Lick. Slurp. Crunch. Munch._ Devoured.

"It's-a good!"

"Just shut your god damned mouth about that."

Another delighted smile.

"Fratello-"

"Yeah?"

"Can we-a go to-a the gift shop?"

"Fine."

//This chapter was short. Sorry. But it was lunch. The others will be longer, I promise. -Munch munch crunch.- Anyone notice that Luigi ate innuendo food, too? Hot dogs. Haha.


	5. Gift Shop

Note: Woohoo! The fifth chapter is up! ;D I had written three chapters this weekend... but I didn't post any of them. I had them written by hand on a notebook. So yeah. Enjoy as always!

They walked in with equal grins on their faces. The cashier held a look of pure terror, but she resumed her post. Unfortunately, she had to be at this dreadful place. There was no other way to pay for her crappy college education. She knew who those two men were. She might as well have paid for her funeral right then and there.

The two acted like kids in a candy store aside from the fact that it was a gift shop.

Pavi picked up a stuffed lion, waving it in his brother's face.

"Who's-a fuzzy wuzzy? Woozafuzzi." Who knew what those words meant. They were incomprehensible. Merely jumbled letters.

"Get that fucking thing out of my God damned face." Luigi growled lowly.

"Aww. You-a don't like-a it?"

"No! It's got creepy beady eyes. Kind of like.. it's looking at you naked."

A giggle came from the cashier.

"Shut the fuck up!"

Silence and fear came as a response from the poor girl. Luigi's words gave Pavi an idea. He grinned wildly at the thought. He lowered the harmless stuffed animal down to his brother's clothed area. He kept the nose pointed directly there.

"Crotch-a sniff!"

"Pavi, what the fuck?"

Pavi soon after received a sharp smack to the back of the head.

"Ow.." He tightly hugged the animal, picking up a stuffed bear as well. He was going to buy both. No one would stop him from doing so. Pavi gestured the lion to Luigi. "His name will-a be Pavi Jr..." A glance at the bear. "And this is-a Bob."

"...Freak." Luigi walked towards the cashier.

"Uh. Uhm. How- How can I help you Mr. Largo, Sir" She gulped. Just one more week of Hell. No more... creepers. She could do this.

"Do you have any knives?"

"Erm. No. Sorry, Sir."

Luigi gave an angry grunt.

"Uh. Uh. But. But we have spears!" She quickly gestured over to the glass cased items.

He casually walked over to them.

"Hey. These are fucking awesome."

She gave a soft sight of relief. _Whew._

"How much are they?"

"$125 per spear."

"That's expensive, don't you think-" He turned to look at her name tag. _Ima Gayheart. What the fuck kind of name is that? Haha! That's fucking rich!_ "Miss. Gayheart?" Luigi controlled himself from laughing.

"Oops! I'm so sorry. Did I say $125? I meant $100." Her voice shook.

"Can I get one?"

"Of course, sir. But please wait until you're done shopping. Then, I'll take it out of the case."

"Fine." He grumbled, turning to find Pavi at the rocks. There were probably over hundreds of them in the wooden box. Black velvet pouches laid nearby for the people to choose what they wished.

The playboy's cheeks... seemed to be full with something. Luigi arched a brow.

"Pavi- what the fuck is in your mouth?"

"Mmrf. mmf." Came his response.

"Spit 'em out, douche!"

"Mmf. Mmf." A shake of the head.

Luigi slapped Pavi on the back, causing many rocks to spill from his mouth. Pavi clutched his throat, coughing and choking.

_Ewww..._ The cashier thought, watching in strange awe. She simply couldn't look away. Horrifying, yet enticing.

_Crap._ Luigi wrapped his arms tightly around his brother.

"Omg yaoi." The cashier, Ima, whispered to herself. Luigi shot her a glare. Pavi continued to choke. He quickly performed the Heimlich maneuver. The rock flew out and tumbled onto the floor.

Pavi gave a nervous laugh while Luigi glared at him.

"It-a was like-a having mini balls in my-a mouth."

His brother merely shook his head.

"Let's-a look-a at the-a hats."

"Right." He rolled his eyes as they both walked over to the racks.

There were dozens. Some were made of foam. Others were caps with the zoo's name proudly displayed. Pavi pointed to the visors with foam animals on them.

"Hey, brother. You should-a get the-a lion hat-a and I'll-a get the wolf."

Luigi snorted, reluctantly picking it up and placing it on his head.

"How do I look?"

"Bellisimo, brother." Two thumbs up.

He had to see for himself. The older male looked in the mirror with a smirk.

"Fan-fucking-tastic!"

Pavi put on the lupine visor. "How do I-a look, brother?"

"Like a dork."

"I'm-a going to-a buy it."

"Whatever."

After a few more shelf bumping incidents due to a fight, they finally made it to the front desk to pay. The cashier looked around the store with a mortified face. The gift shop was in ruins. Saliva covered rocks were on the ground. Stuffed animals littered the floor. Toys lay in their wake.

She had taken out the spear for Luigi although the corners of her mouth twitched. They gave her the money which she put into the register with a small clink.

"Such a pretty face-a, bella." Pavi cooed, stroking her cheek.

Her face reddened more so in anger than embarrassment. The poor worker tugged off her store apron and nametag with a yank, tossing her arms in the air.

"I QUIT!" Shortly after, she spoke every profanity known to man. That was the last time Ima Gayheart worked at the zoo....

The brothers exchanged looks and grins as they walked out of the shop. Pavi pulled out a pocket knife, skinning off the stuffed bear's face. He placed the face upon on the lion's."

"Look-a, Pavi Jr. has a pretty face like-a the Pavi!"

"...Nice." Luigi snorted. "Pavi are you gonna tell me why you're acting like this?"

"Like-a what?"

"A fucking kid."

"I'll-a tell you later."

"Promise."

"Sí! Now, let's-a see some-a lions."

Luigi grinned.

Note: If you don't know what yaoi means... it's "malexmale." :D Yay.


	6. Lions Rawr

_Note:_ Luigi wasn't harmed in the making of this chapter. As for Steve.... Well... -Cough.- I also have nothing against Canadians. They're awesome. Ogre comes from Canada. HE IS GODLY. D; I support animal rights. This is just written purely out of entertainment. ... I love how Pavi ignores all of Luigi's insults. xD He's like "La la la..." Ahem. I also must be legally insane for even writing this story. Ah well. Have fun reading this chapter! :D

"CHOCOLATE! CHOCOLATE! CHOCOLATE!" Came a frantic cry. "She'll stain the sheets, they'll run with blood!"

"..." The brothers looked at each other equally silent for once.

A zoo cop ran after the crazed Repo Man who merrily skipped by. The scene was hilarious. Tourists eagerly snapped photos, laughing amongst themselves. This day was turning out to be quite... epic.

The sun must have fried the poor man's brains. Now, the white coats were after him. Pavi and Luigi watched for their own entertainment.

"Fucktard," Luigi mumbled.

"Douche," Pavi agreed.

"Ho-hee. Oh crap. They're coming to take me away!" Steve Bob McSteve continued to run. Rolling their eyes, the Largo brothers walked to see the lions.

"Luigi," The younger male pointed to a male lion in all its basking glory.

"What?" The brown haired man squinted his blue eyes. "So? It's not killing or anything..."

"It's-a you!"

Luigi frowned, trying to determine if Pavi's words were an insult or a compliment.

"The fuck do you mean it's me?"

"Well-a, you're-a strong, you-a kill, you-a have power through-a fear, and-a you're a 'soon to be' king. So-a is a lion. As well as-a fierce and-a you get the point, bello."

Now, he was silent with a brow raised. Did his brother really think that highly of him? To be honest, he never knew. Luigi always loathed and hated the annoying little fuck. There were moments where he found him tolerable. An example being whenever Pavi killed a woman... for their face. Today, he was tolerable of the little shit for some strange reason.

Pavi leaned on the barrier of the open lions' exhibit. His back was to the carnivorous animals. He gently drummed his fingers on the wooden ramp.

"Pavi, you're not hitting on me, are you?"

"No."

"What exactly are you saying, then?"

He rolled his own cerulean eyes. "I'm-a saying that I-a think Papá is-a giving GeneCo to-a you."

"Are you fucking serious?"

"Sí." Look at-a me. Look at-a sister. You're the-a least fucked up-a."

"You've got that right."

"Maybe, it's-a because you-a received less-a attention than-a sister and I."

"Are you saying that I'm less fucked up, _because_ I didn't didn't get much attention from Pop when you two shits were born!?" He was beginning to grow irritated now. "Is this why you wanted to go to the crappy zoo?"

"Aheh." He waved his hands with a soft smile. "No."

"'Cuz if so, I'll fucking kill you." Rough hands reached out for the soft neck.

"Surely, you-a won't kill-a the Pavi.. After all-" As Pavi backed up, he fell over the barrier- like railing, stumbling into the creatures' domain.

"...Shit-nosed idiot. Get the fuck back here so I can ki- talk to you!"

Pavi began walking backwards, closer to the predators. Tourists gasped and gawked, turning their attention to the man with the lions. They whipped out their camera phones, video cameras, and everything in between. This was _some_ day.

"The Pavi's going to-a ride a lion!"

Ooh's and aah's came as a response.

"..." Luigi watched with balled fists.

"His-a name is-a now Luigi!"

"...Jesus effin' Christ. Get your pansy ass back here!"

"Not-a yet!"

"Don't make me come in there!"

"Haha! You-a said 'come'!"

"Little fucker!" Luigi grabbed the spear out of the gift bag and jumped in the exhibit. They might as well have been dead men.

Meanwhile, a news chopper hovered in the sky, filming this mighty _fine_ moments.

Surprisingly, Pavi had a certain way with the animals. Hence, the prior incident with the gorilla. He was probably oozing hormones (obviously, duh). It must have been the pheromones that lured in the critters and ultimately humbled them.

The male lion appeared to be grinning. His muzzle was curved into something resembling a near smile. Golden eyes appeared to be sedated. Basking in the moment, Pavi swung a leg over the clion, sitting on his back. Thanks to the Largo's lithe frame, the mammal was able to endure the light weight.

Luigi stood still, spear in one hand. Was Pavi nuts? as Pavi began riding the lion like a cowboy with a horse, it answered his question. Yes. His brother was bat out of Hell crazy. It could have been the sugar he consumed...

"I'm-a riding Luigi!"

"..." Luigi's palm collided with his face. Instead of killing Pavi, he would have to save him from the damned animals. The eldest didn't want bad ass lions killing his faggy little brother. No, he was supposed to harbor the abuse in that department.

"Gett the fuck back here!" He raised and lowered the spear in all his rage. He tried to edge closer to the lions. It was a failed attempt. They lowered on their haunches, shoulder blades flexing upwards. Their muzzles curled in sinister smirks. Low grows were emitted.

"Oh, come on!" Luigi cried out. "Can't you give a man a freaking break?"

More growls.

"I'm-a King of the-a Lions!"

They edged closer.

"...Hehe. Nice bad ass lions. You're cool. I'm cool. We're all cool, right?"

The lioness' approached all the more.

"Nice kitties? The easily angered brother gave a cry, pivoting. He ran for fear of his life, both knife and spear in his grasp. He was a modern day gladiator in a coliseum full of angry lions...sort of. The spectators (tourists and the likes) watched with ongoing amusement. They gave claps and whistles. They thought it was a show. It was a grand old time to them.

"Talk about party animals, eh?" A canadian cracked a joke, laughing at it.

"NOBODY THINKS YOU'RE FUNNY. GO BACK TO FUCKING CANADA!" Luigi shouted, still running for his life. The roars were vicious.

"Rawr!" An unknown tourist mockingly shouted.

"Omg like dis iz goin' on da webs!" Obsessive girls cried out, snapping photos with their phones.

"My pants!"

"His-a pants!"

_Riiiip._ A lioness tore off Luigi's pants. There went $2,000 trousers. Oh, the tragedy.

"Haha! Brother wears-a boxers!"

Luigi flushed, stomping up to the animal that happily munched his clothing. Stab. Stab. Stab. "FUCKING FUCKITY FUCK FUCK FUUUCK!" Blood squirted over his face and onto the once green grass. The lust for blood was evident in his eyes. The spear remained in the poor creature's sternum. The muscles had relaxed due to the phase of death.

"Nobody messes with Luigi fucking Largo!"

By then, Pavi had gotten off of the male lion. He had his fun on the wild ride. Then, there was another tearing sound followed by an effeminate gasp.

"My-a pants!" A choked sob. He had dearly loved those tightly fitting had brought him through many sexual conquests.

"Hah!"

"... He-a ate my-a pants!"

"Pfft! Pavi's wearing a fucking thong!"

Both men were flushed with embarrassment as they fled to the bushes.

"You owe me pants."

"Luigi owes-a me pants!" Another sob.

"No, I fucking don't!"

"Luigi the Lion."

"Oh."

"My-a poor pants..."

"Haha! That's great! We need a camera. This is fucking hot."

"...A-what?"

A clearing of the throat. "You owe me pants, fag."

The erections were evident. After wearing skirts made of newspaper, Pavi bought pants at another nearby gift shop.

'I'll bet this is going to be in the fucking papers."

"Or-a television."


	7. Television

_Note:_I'm officially bat shit crazy. I suppose it takes a crazy to know a crazy. Hence, the Largos. xD Poor Amber.. Daddy doesn't believe her.

**Meanwhile at the Largo household...**

Rotti had a frazzled look on his face as he dropped a tabloid on his desk. It read, "Local Repo Man Turned Mad Man Caught At the Zoo." He solemnly shook his head. Not all people were capable of this job so it seemed.

The henchgirls looked at him with equal timing. They spoke with perfect unison, "What should we do?"

"Kill him."

"Yes, Sir." They marched off to the asylum to terminate Steve Bob McSteve. He would not be getting paid by porn or chocolate anytime soon.

Amber Sweet was now in a vaguely drug induced state. She no longer saw false images dancing about, but she still did not feel pain. Her surgery addicted form lazily sprawled out on the couch. One arm rested over the edge. A dreamy smile was cast onto her face as she turned on the television. The news was on with an incoming report.

**HILARIOUS ZOO STUNT**

Her eyes widened upon seeing her brothers on TV. At first, she was racked with jealousy. They were on television and she was not. If only she had agreed to go-

She shook her head, the locks framing her surgically perfected cheeks swayed with the movement. What she heard next, sent her laughing in hysterics.

"HAH!"

Amber pointed at the large screen, savoring every moment of this.

"The fucktards! They're ruining their image!"

The scalpel slut sat up, slapping her hands on her well carved thighs. _Oh, Daddy just has to see this._A wicked grin spread on her painted lips. She stood up all too soon, stumbling on her own two feet. Zydrate still controlled a good portion of her. She staggered like a drunk, running to Rotti's office... only to smack into a wall on her way there. She didn't cry out in pain, thanks to the glow. Yet, she did subconsciously rub her head.

"Daddy!" She burst into her dad's office.

The head of GeneCo rose his head. A neutral expression upon his face. All he did was give. All she - they- did was take. Was it more surgery she wanted? Needed? Craved? He would gladly give it to her just so she would shut her constantly blabbing mouth.

"You have to see what's on TV! You won't believe it!" She would do anything to get GeneCo which included lowering her brothers down on all notches.

Rotti arched a brow, rising from his chair. "Oh?"

"Come see!"

They both walked to the living room where the news played. The story now broadcasting was about the insane Repo Man. The graying male gave what appeared to be an eye roll.

"Honey, I know. It's okay. I'm taking care of this as the anchorman is speaking."

"BUT-"

"But what, sweetheart?" He knew she was on the Z. She knew he wouldn't believe her. She could have told him all about Luigi, Pavi, and the weird lions, but Amber refrained herself. Rotti would simply coax her, telling her it was just a dream like some five year old.

"Nevermind. Sorry to have bothered you, Daddy."

"It's all right." A fake smile edged onto his mouth. He quickly walked back to his room. The sounds of formal shoes swiftly clunked away.

Thirty minutes later, the news displayed the scene once more. Amber pratically fled off of the couch and made a run to her father's office. This was her chance. _Smack!_ She ran right into the wall once more.

"Ah ow..."

"DADDY! DADDY!"

"What is it, daughter?" He gently rubbed his temple.

"Pavi and Luigi are on the news!"

Now, this could either be a good thing or a bad thing. Maybe for once, his sons were proving useful to their name... or ruining it. He could only shake his head. Whatever it was, he had to see it.

"All right. Let's see." _Again._ He silently added.

Amber smiled to herself as they returned to the television. The Steve Bob McSteve story was now on.

"But- But-" Her smile now faltered.

Rotti gently clapped his hands together. Here it came. "Well, sweetie, you're not sick, are you?" A small ounce of concern showed on his face. "Maybe you're just seeing things. Why don't you just take a nap?"

"Yes, Daddy..." She pouted. When he was in his office, Amber stomped her foot on the ground.

"I'm not seeing things!"

She would show her father the chaos her brothers were creating. He had to believe her. So, Miss. Sweet tried again... and again... and again... Each time resulted in failure... and Steve Bob McSteve.

"Gah! IT'S NOT FAIR!" She howled out, stomping her foot once more.

"Stupid television. It's all your fault!" She whined.

Balling her hands into fists, she stomped over to the screen. She delivered light punches to the seemingly invincible electronic device. That drew the last straw. In her anger, she kicked the TV. Her heel smashed through the glass as it shattered to the ground.

Pain began to return and take it's brutal toll.

She cried out. Her foot was stuck. _Stuck._ Of all things... She wrapped her hands around her ankle in a futile attempt.

"Owowowowowowowowow." Profanities leaked from her mouth.

Finally, Amber pulled her foot out. The high heel was left inside the screen. She blinked once, turning to limp away. She would damn that television to hell. At least now she had an excuse for surgery... no matter how strange the events resulting to it. Before she left the lounge, the flat screen fell with a heavy thud.

_That_ was the last time Amber Sweet would watch a flat-screen television.

Note: She was like the boy who cried wolf... The girl who cried television... I feel bad for her. Okay, I don't. xD I do like Amber Sweet. The television just didn't happen to. Oh jeez, I would really like to thank Chaos(andMayhem) for becoming my beta reader. It greatly helps me. Everybody give Chaos a round of applause! -Enthusiastic clapping. Sea Lion noises.- Erm. I would also like to thank all of the readers. You give me such great strength. T-T THANK-YOU FOR FUELING MY PRIDE WITH YOUR WONDERFUL COMMENTS. 3 {More chapters are to come.}


	8. Carousel And More

**Back at the zoo...**

"Lions aren't that bad ass anymore..."

"Sí."

"Let's go see some foxes."

The two took their time walking to them. They mourned the loss of two good pairs of pants. It was a shame. They were costly articles of clothing.

The foxes were caged in. They couldn't get out nor could anyone get in for that matter... Unless Pavi magically found a way in. There was a post with elaborate details about the red fox. Surprisingly, the furry creatures were not in a burrow. They were out and about with their tongues hanging out.

"They're-a pretty. Aren't they-a, brother?" He leaned on the post, watching them.

"Yeah." Luigi wasn't one to necessarily call things 'pretty', but there was something appealing about them.

"Hey Pavi?"

"Sí?"

"You're like a fox. 'Cept foxes aren't fags." A cruel laugh.

Now it was Pavi's turn to arch a brow. In his rather small brain, he took his brother's words as a compliment. It was true. Everybody loved the Pavi. A grin stretched onto his mouth.

"What-a do you-a mean?"

An eye roll. "You're fucking sneaky like one. What do they call it... sly or slick as a fox. They're small and thin. Pretty, too. I guess. Farmers hate 'em and I hate you. They're quick to flee. Sly... you're hiding the reason of why we came here."

The sharp smile never once vanished. His brother did not hate him... at least not all of the time. He was pleased with himself, folding his hands together.

"And do you like-a the foxes?"

"Better than lions who fucking eat your pants."

"Do you-a think of-a Papá as a lion?"

"I can see that. Him being a 'king' and all."

"Do you-a think of-a yourself as a lion?"

"Christ. I don't fucking know. What is this? A therapy session?" Luigi scowled.

"No."

"Thought so."

"Let's-a go to the-a Carousel!" Pavi beamed brightly.

"...Fine. But I'm not riding any of them."

"You-a can ride-a the Pavi, bello." A wink.

A firm slap.

"Ow-a!"

"You'll be the one doing the riding, douche."

"Aw..."

Thus, the two walked off to the musical attraction. Kids whispered to their moms. Mother held horrified looks in return, clinging to their children. They did not want their kids to die any time soon.

"Two-a tickets, Signore."

The man working in the small booth rolled his eyes, taking the money in exchange for tickets. Why was it that the zoo attracted such strange people? He had no clue, nor did he want to know.

"Freaks...," The worker muttered under his breath.

"What did you fucking say?!" Luigi curled his lip in disdain; his knife pulled out.

"Er... nothing, Sir."

"I fucking thought so." Luigi stomped away, but Pavi more so enthusiastically dragged him to the Carousel. Pavi hopped onto the platform, running in circles. He had to find a horse. A good one. A pretty one. A sturdy one...

"Find a fucking pony already!"

"I'm-a trying!"

"Not good enough!''

"Did you-a say pony..?"

"SHUT UP AND FIND A HORSE."

Finally, one was chosen. He put a foot on the step helper, swinging a leg over. Having done this, the black haired Largo sat down with ease. Pavi had chosen a chestnut coloured horse with a blonde mane. Luigi choose a white horse with gray speckles. He had some difficulty getting on.

"I-a though you-a weren't riding."

"Well, I changed my mind." He snapped.

Pavi smiled pleasantly once more.

"Wipe that shitty smirk off your face."

He grinned on the inside. Grinning or smiling was a constant action of his. The Carousel began to start. The melody was all too sweet. A sickly-perky-get-it-out-of-your-head-or-you'll-blow-your-brains-with-a-fucking-shotgun- sweet. It reminded him of his sister, Amber Sweet.

Luigi groaned as if it were giving him physical pain. It was sheer mental pain, though.

Pavi straddled the fake animal, leaning forward.

"The Pavi's-a riding! I'm-a winning!"

Luigi looked over at his brother, his competitive nature began to take root. He, too, leaned forward and straddling the false horse.

"It feels-a good, no?"

"Yeah... It does feel nice... I'll fucking beat you!"

"I-a won!"

How can anyone possibly win? The horses only move up and down while the machine mindlessly spins 'round...and 'round...and 'round. It was amusement for the dimwitted at best. Luigi scowled. That was how a slapping fight had begun. Slap. Slap. Slap. Slap. Slap. Punch. Followed by a girly cry. That was the last time the Largos were allowed to go to the Carousel.

"I want to see the mutant deer zebra giraffe...things."

Luigi pointed to the Okapi area on the flamboyant map.

"The-a-"

"They have a funny name."

Pavi squinted, trying his best to pronounce the name. "Okay-a pee?"

"No. It's Okapi."

"Oka-pie?"

"No. OAK-AH-PEE."

"You-a said pee."

"..."

"OAK-a-a...what?"

"It's not that fucking hard to pronounce."

"Oaky."

"..."

"It's-a easier to-a say."

"It's an Okapi. Oh-Ka-Pee!"

"Ohkaypee-a"

"No! Just forget it!" The older brother grumbled, stomping his foot on the ground. He was growing angry at all of the mispronunciations.

After seeing the 'mutant deer zebra things,' it was time to go. They had spent the whole day at the zoo. It was quite memorable to both them and the tourists. The zoo was closing by the time they left. Now, came the ride home.

Note: This chapter was probably the worst in my opinion. There's two more chapters after this, I'm sad to say. D; I'm too exhausted to individually respond to reviews. Thank-you for your comments! ^^; Last time I checked Carousel is the name of a building. So it should begin with a capitol letter. I'm really exhausted. Anyway... Hope you liked this chapter!


	9. Ride Home

The limo ride home... Ah yes. They were able to somewhat relax in its luxury. Zoo gift bags nestled in the empty seat across from them. From out of (seemingly) nowhere, Pavi pulled out an energy drink and pop rocks.

"Where the hell did you get that from?"

"No-a where." He broke down the word into two.

"..." A glare.

"I-a bought it-a when you-a weren't looking."

"I look away for one fucking moment and you do something crazy."

Pop. Fizz. Pavi bent the tab, opening the highly caffeinated drink. He had a pleased expression on his face.

"What did you-a think about-a it?"

"About what?"

"Today."

"Cool..." Luigi folded his arms, shooting his brother a glare. "It could have been better."

"No!" A startled gasp. There was a fizzing and crackling sound. Luigi's temple throbbed in aggravation.

"No _what_!?"

"My-a pop rocks!"

"..."

"Half of-a them, fell-a in!"

"Well, don't waste it. Drink it. God, Pavi. Don't be a fucking pansy."

"Aw..." The raven haired male titled his head back, gulping down the grape flavored drink. The eldest smirked, watching.

"Chug, chug, chug."

Choke. Choked. Choking.

A firm slap on the back. Another cough.

"It's-a fizzing in my-a throat!"

He finished it in a few more large gulps. Pavi smiled in all his victory, eating the rest of the candy.

"Ow-a!"

"What? Are you okay?" Luigi snickered lightly.

"Why-a am I-a eating something that-a causes me-a physical pain-a?" The pop rocks continued to crackle as he spoke.

"Beats me, but it's pretty damned funny."

He pouted, sticking up his bottom lip.

"You're not a puppy. Knock it off."

Silence reigned overall. The ride was fairly long. A whole two hours trapped in a car. Oh, the joy. Thirty minutes later the massive dosage of a caffeinated energy drink and sugar began to take its toll. At this time, Luigi paid no mind. His attention was focused on the window.

"Poke-a." The eldest received a firm poke.

"...What? Polka?" That was a stupid dance for old senile people. He shrugged and turned away.

"Poke-a." Another poke.

"PAVI, Fucking cut it out!"

"Sorry." He fidgeted. The younger male bounced from the sugar.

"NEVER. EVER... will you get any more energy drinks or sugar.

"Aw... But the Pavi can fuck-a faster that-a way."

When he was sure the other wasn't looking, Pavi extended his arm above his brother.

"..." That made Luigi feel awkward. What was Pavi trying to pull? "God damn it, Pavi. What are you doing!?" He scowled.

"Nohing." An all too innocent smile stretched onto his face.

"...Freak."

The younger Largo stuck up two fingers behind his brother's head.

"Bunny ears-a!"

"..." He harshly elbowed Pavi. A firm bruise would later on appear in that area.

"Ow-a!" Pavi cried out sharply in pain.

"That's what you get for fucking with me."

The driver averted his gaze to the rear-view mirror, raising both brows. Just what on Earth were they doing? It was scarring the poor man's mind.

"The fuck are you looking at!?"

_Well, Sir. I'm just trying to figure out whether or not you're having an incestuous relationship with your brother._ That would go over swell. "...Nothing, Sir."

"That's what I bleeping thought."

"Bleeping-a?"

"Shut up."

A few minutes later...

"Pavi, get your fucking hands off me."

A girlish giggle.

A slap.

"My brother gets drunk on sugar..."

A small shriek.

"JESUS EFFIN-" The driver shouted.

Thud. Screech.

"..."

"...Who the fuck says 'effin'?"

The driver cleared his throat, his eyes wide. "I just ran over a man! My god! What do I do? I have a wife! And kids!"

"What did he look like?''

"Pardon...?"

"Goddamn it! What did he look like?"

"He had a Repo suit..."

"And...?"

"I think he said 'chocolate'.''

"Keep driving.''

"Keep-a driving!" The brothers spoke in precise unison.

"..."

"Move! Scopa! Come-a on! Drive!"

"Yes, Sir." He wouldn't dare question why. For the sake of his job, he would continue to drive.

Time flew by. There was thirty minutes left. By now, Pavi was in a comatose-like state. His chin rested upon Luigi's shoulder. Black hair was a ruffled mess. His eyes fluttered.

"God damnit, Pavi. Your chin's fucking sharp..." He murmured lightly. Of course he didn't want to wake him up. _Let him sleep. He's finally quiet._

Alas, the journey ended.

Note: ONE MORE CHAPTER. STEVE IS NOT DEAD. Yet. (Mwahahahaha). This is SUCH a crack fanfiction. But that's okay. I hope you enjoyed it.


	10. Aftermath

"I hate you both!" Amber greeted them at the door as she stomped her feet on the ground.

"Nice to see you, too." Luigi sarcastically muttered under his breath.

"Ciao, bella." Pavi waggled his fingers, smiling as she ran off. The sugar was still affecting him. It was worse than Zydrate... if such a thing was possible.

They noticed the bandages wrapped around her foot. In return, they both exchanged glances and shrugs. _Sisters._

"Well!?"

"Hm?" Pavi snapped back into reality. He had been attached to his own reflection.

"Are you gonna tell me?"

"Oh-a."

Their conversation was interrupted by Rotti. He had recently coaxed Amber once more. She was very upset... for some strange reason. Apparently, Steve Bob McSteve had that affect on people. A surprisingly warm smile etched onto Rotti's face. Maybe he was sick of his daughter's whining.

"My sons," He began. "Now, I know you did not get surgery, Pavi. The tabloids would be all over it... or hopefully not. They were busy with some crazed Repo Man." An eye roll.

"Aheh." Pavi gave a nervous chuckle.

"So, please. Enlighten me. Where did you _two_ go?" It was obvious that the two had went out together.

"The-a.."

"Yes."

"We went to the zoo, Pop. Sorry for not telling ya." He was truly sorry... for a second. Luigi briefly bowed his head in respect.

Pavi gave a soft sigh of relief. "Sí."

The zoo? Rotti gave a mildly questioning look. He hadn't been there in years(the old fart). Oh, it would have been such a joyful day if he did go. So, why did his sons not tell him? Rotti would have happily obliged. "Why did you not tell me, Paviche?" Sure, they were grown men. But Pavi covered up the zoo by saying it was surgically related.

"I-a thought you would-a be disappointed."

"I could have came." First, bewildered expressions appeared on the brothers' faces followed by a small fit of laughter.

_He said 'come'._ They really were perverse.

Rotti blinked once, clearing his throat. Pavi and Luigi turned their attention back towards their father.

"We-a thought you would-a be-a mad."

"Why would you think that?"

"We've never been-a to the-a zoo before." Pavi toyed with the edge of his shirt.

"I see. I hope you boys had a good time and didn't get into any trouble." Luigi snorted. Pavi elbowed him. Rotti blinked. "I have to get back to work, unfortunately. I'll see you both at dinner tonight." He quickly departed.

"CHOCOLATE!!!!!" A voice cried out in the distance. Steve Bob McSteve was alive. The henchgirls had failed.

"My God..." Rotti mumbled under his breath.

"He's alive!?"

"He's-a alive?!"

The father looked at his two potential heirs.

"We heard about it on the news, Pop."

"Oh. Well, maybe Nathan can take care of it."

"That emo cry baby? Please! All he does is go around crying. 'Marni', 'Marni', 'MAAAAAAAARNI.' '' Luigi exaggerated, tossing his hands in the air. "And he's a fucking broken record. 'Marni. I am so sorry! MAAAAAAAAAAAARNI'. ''

"We-a get it, brother."

"He's more of a pansy than you are, Pavi."

"Luigi, son, I understand. Can you take care of it on your free time, then?"

"Yeah. Sure, Pop!" He grinned happily.

There was a crash. A shattering of glass. Steve broke into a Jack Sparrow type of run in front of the three.

"Nyeh! Steve Bob McSteve lives! You can never get me! Ha ha ha!" He boastfully laughed. The Repo Man put his hands on his hips, puffing up his chest in a dramatic pose. "I don't wanna be a chicken. I don't wanna be a duck. Wah wah wah wah." He launched into the almighty 'Chicken Dance'.

Rotti showed no amusement as he stalked off. Luigi twitched. "Must. Not. Chicken. Dance." It was his one true weakness... It failed as Steve flapped his arms in front of the eldest. It caught on. Luigi, too, danced. Pavi blinked, snatching his brother's knife from his grasp. The blade rose, then lowered. There was a cry of pain.

"Fuck! I-a stabbed my-a leg!" He stupidly exclaimed, pulling the knife from his thigh with a wince. Steve and Luigi blinked, stopping their crazed dance.

"..." Luigi snatched the dagger back. "This. Is. GeneCo!" He proclaimed as he stabbed the Repo Man.

"Steve falls at the desire of chocolate," McSteve whispered as he collapsed. "But wait." A faint sound. "One...last...word." The brothers edged closer to listen. "Llama."

'Wtf' expressions were clear upon their faces. The Genterns could take care of the body for all they cared. That man had caused them trouble. They didn't need any more of it.

Pavi staggered along. "Come with-a me to my-a room, fratello."

Luigi gave a skeptical look.

"Well? Scopa! Come on. I-a have things to-a tell you."

_Oh._

Pavi accidentally tripped "on" Luigi. It was actually the rug, which sent him into his brother. Pavi had pinned Luigi to the ground. The brown haired male blinked, his face growing red with anger.

"PAVI! GET THE FUCK OFF ME!"

He quickly did so, letting out a nervous laugh. They continued their way to Pavi's room. Finally, Pavi sat down on his furnished chair. A Gentern quickly attended to his wound, departing shortly after. He neatly folded his legs, drumming his fingers upon them.

"Well?"

"Well-a..."

"Lose the God damned accent!"

"Ah." There was a light sigh. Luigi impatiently folded his arms.

Surprisingly, Pavi spoke smoothly. The accent had helped his speech over the years. "This was the only opportunity I had. It was a nice day. Fun, too. I've never been able to do something this great with you, Brother. It's obvious. You're getting GeneCo. There's no chance for Sister or I to earn it. Look at me. Look at our slut of a sister. Father thinks we're both monsters."

"You're a slut."

Pavi rolled his eyes at the remark. "You deserve it. I'll be happy if you get it. You need to do one thing. Stop-a killing so-a much." He spoke with modest and sincerity. "Two more-a things. As of-a now, we-a go back to-a rivals." The younger male stood up, planting a kiss on his brother's cheek. "Two, I-a had a great time with my-a big brother." A wink.

Luigi stood there stupefied, blinking. His cheek flushed from the impression of soft lips. "Yeah... I had fun too, I mean. I guess. Aside from you being a doofus."

"I-a just wanted to make-a up for-a what childhood we-a lost."

"The connection we lack as brothers, too?"

"Sí."

A genuine smile crept onto Luigi's face. He now saw clearly.

"I FUCKING HATE YOU!'' Now, he didn't mean it. It was just a cover up.

Things shortly returned back to the way they were.

**THE END**

NOTE: The ending was too fluffy... Maybe? Don't hurt me. I appreciated your favorites, your adds, your reviews, and your story alerts. For that, I am grateful. You are all great people! Aquaflame68(AF) originally created Steve Bob McSteve. Some of the events were based on.. semi-fact. AF and I did go to the zoo. Here's what did happen;

-At the gift shop I bought a stuffed lion, but I named him Nathan.

- Pop rocks+energy drink+ myself AF did say, "Don't waste it." I did chug it.

-I did sit on a giant millipede statue. (Hump-a. Hump-a. Hump-a.)

I hope you all enjoyed this story! :D


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